Thank you to TrichOrTreat:

Mental illness and stigma: Coping with the ridicule

By Mayo Clinic staff

You've probably heard the words, tossed out loosely, without a care — words like "psycho," "schizo" and "wacko." Or you've seen the jokes on television about "loony bins" and characters in straightjackets. You might even have read about the government official who quipped that a congressman must be "off his meds and out of therapy." But if you or a loved one has a mental illness, you know that these words and gimmicks aren't just harmless fun. Rather, they perpetuate the stigma attached to mental illness. Stigma is painful and shaming, but you can both cope with it and combat it.   Stigmatizing mental illnesses begins with a label Stigma is a mark of disgrace or shame. It has four components: Labeling someone with a condition Stereotyping people with that condition Creating a division — a superior "us" group and a devalued "them" group, resulting in loss of status in the community Discriminating against someone on the basis of their label Labels aren't always negative, though. In health, for instance, a diagnosis is, in essence, a label. A label can offer reassurance that your condition has a medical cause, and it can help steer you toward appropriate treatment. Labels don't always trigger stigma. In fact, many illnesses are gaining broad acceptance, with survivors and advocates taking part in fundraising events or proudly wearing ribbons or wristbands to show their support. Breast cancer is a shining example. Survivors are no longer stigmatized, but rather celebrated and honored. But some illnesses remain on the social fringe — shunned, mocked, disrespected and discredited. For many people, being diagnosed with a mental illness is akin to wearing a scarlet letter, an invitation for scorn and disdain. Defining mental illness: An interview with a Mayo Clinic specialist   Stigma fuels inaccurate perceptions of mental illnesses Why do mental illnesses continue to be stigmatized? For one thing, the term "mental illness" itself implies a distinction from "physical" illness, although the two are intimately entwined. In fact, neuroimaging studies show physical changes in the brain associated with mental disorders, suggesting a biological basis. Some mental health advocates propose switching to less stigmatized terms, such as behavioral health or brain disorders or brain illnesses. To some, "mental" suggests not a legitimate medical condition but rather something that results from your own doing and your own choices. People may blame you and think your condition is "all in your head." They may think that mental illness is an indication of weakness or laziness. That you're a "moral failure" or simply "can't cut it." That you should just "get over it." Some people also believe that if you have a mental illness, you must be dangerous and unpredictable. This perception is often inflamed by media accounts of crime, although statistics don't bear out a connection between mental illness and violence. Some people also believe that those with mental illness are less competent, unable to work, should be institutionalized or will never get better. As a result of such stigma, mental illnesses remain the butt of jokes in popular culture. Negative portrayals of people with mental illnesses fuel fear and mistrust and reinforce distorted perceptions, leading to even more stigma. Some mental illnesses are more stigmatized than others. Schizophrenia, for instance, is more highly stigmatized than depression is. It's routinely mocked and misrepresented and is less likely to generate compassion. Depression, on the other hand, is less often ridiculed, perhaps because an onslaught of advertising for antidepressant medications has made the disorder more mainstream, thus more acceptable. Depression Schizophrenia   Consequences of stigma For someone with mental illness, the consequences of stigma can be devastating — in some cases, worse than the illness itself. Some people with mental illness don't seek treatment for fear of being given a label — a label that's almost impossible to ever shed. They believe that once family and friends find out about their illness, they'll be scorned. They may try to hide their symptoms and not stick to treatment regimens. Some people with mental illness become socially isolated, locked out of their community by the shame and embarrassment that stigma triggers. Stigma also leads to social distancing, in which people refuse to rent rooms to someone with a mental illness, don't want them as neighbors or co-workers, and won't befriend them. Some people with mental illness have even been subjected to physical violence and verbal abuse. People with mental illness face discrimination in the workplace, even though the Americans with Disabilities Act outlaws it. They may lose their job, be the subject of gossip by coworkers and get passed over for promotions. And in many cases, health insurance coverage of treatment for mental illness is inadequate and far more limited than that of physical illnesses, such as diabetes or high blood pressure.   Celebrities help erase the stigma of mental illness Not all the news is bad, though. Today, the stigma surrounding some mental illnesses is slowly eroding. That's due in part to greater public understanding of mental disorders and the biological basis that many of them have. As causes of mental illnesses and better treatments for them are discovered, stigma may fade even more. Many celebrities are speaking out about their experiences with mental illness. Among them are Nobel Prize-winning economist John Forbes Nash Jr. (schizophrenia); actresses Patty Duke (bipolar disorder), Lorraine Bracco (depression) and Brooke Shields (postpartum depression); newspeople Jane Pauley (bipolar disorder) and Mike Wallace (depression); athletes Terry Bradshaw (depression) and Muffin Spencer-Devlin (bipolar disorder); writers Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., (bipolar disorder), Art Buchwald (depression) and William Styron (depression); and such public figures as Tipper Gore (depression) and Kitty Dukakis (depression, substance abuse). Celebrities who openly discuss their mental illnesses or write books about their experiences increase public awareness and help make it easier for others to reveal their struggles with mental illness. Bipolar disorder Postpartum depression Alcoholism Drug addiction   You can cope with and combat the stigma surrounding mental illnesses If you have a mental illness, you can decide who to tell, if anyone, and how much to tell. You may not be comfortable telling anyone anything at all about your condition. In some cases, though, you may fear the worst, only to be met with compassion and acceptance — not the ridicule and disdain you were anticipating. Being open about your condition may be a risk, but you may gain much-needed support and unburden yourself from a heavy secret. Perhaps you want to actively combat stigma. You may only be comfortable pushing for more awareness and compassion within a close circle of family and friends, gently reminding them about the harm in jokes and stereotypes. Or if you're more comfortable tackling bigger challenges and facing bigger risks, you may decide to make your cause more public. In either case, here are some ways you can cope with and help end stigma: Get appropriate treatment. Don't let the fear or anticipation of being stigmatized prevent you from seeking treatment for your illness. For some people, a specific diagnosis provides relief because it lifts the burden of keeping silent and also underscores that you aren't alone — that many others share your same illness and issues. Surround yourself with supportive people. Because stigma can lead to social isolation, it's important to stay in touch with family and friends who are understanding. Isolation can make you feel even worse. Make your expectations known. People may not know how to support you, even if they want to help. Offer specific suggestions and remind people of appropriate language. Don't equate yourself with your illness. You are not an illness. So instead of saying "I'm bipolar," say "I have bipolar disorder." Instead of calling yourself "a schizophrenic," call yourself "a person with schizophrenia." Don't say you "are depressed." Say you "have depression." Share your own experiences. Speaking at events can help instill courage in others facing similar challenges and also educate the public about mental illness. Until you gain confidence, you may want to start at small events, such as talks at a support group or a local chapter of a national advocacy group. Monitor the media. If you spot stigmatizing stories, comic strips, movies, television shows or even greeting cards, write letters of protest that identify the problem and offer solutions. Join an advocacy group. Some local and national groups have programs to watch for and correct archaic stereotypes, misinformation and disrespectful portrayals of people with mental illnesses. Support groups offer understanding, information Developing social support: How to cultivate a network of friends to help you through rough times   Don't let stigma create self-doubt and shame In the face of insensitive comments or crude advertising gimmicks, it may be difficult to feel good about yourself. Remember that you have a medical condition, that it's not your fault and that effective treatments are available. Try not to feel shamed, embarrassed or humiliated if someone knowingly or unknowingly ridicules your illness. Therapy may help you gain self-esteem and put less stock into what others think of you. And if you're comfortable enough to speak up, you may be able to help educate people about the hurt that can result from stigmatizing mental illnesses. The tide is slowly turning.

Thank you to The__Burrow for an informative and meaningful piece on Self-injury:

When you hear “attention-seeking cutters” what do you think of? Do you think of anyone and everyone who has ever self-injured in their lives? Just those who don’t cover up their scars? Or only those who go out of their way to tell everyone they’ve harmed themselves?

I’d like to clear one thing up: not all self-injurers are looking for attention. Most go to great lengths to hide it, and do not want to talk about it much. For them, it’s a personal experience, if anything a way of relying on oneself instead of reaching out to others. It’s a method of coping with emotions, thoughts and life when most other methods are not working, haven’t been learnt or simply aren’t available. Then again, just because someone eventually decides they just don’t care what people think and show their scars in public doesn’t mean they are different to this – maybe they’re just too hot wearing long-sleeves all summer. In fact they may have stopped long ago and are trying to live the normal life to match. There is nothing wrong with any of this.

Now for the people who do show their cuts or other injuries for someone to notice. When I first discovered people did this, I was horrified, and ever since I’ve not been able to understand these people and considered them thoroughly annoying. However recently I’ve decided maybe I’m being unfair. Just because I’d never do it doesn’t mean I should instantly judge anyone who would. Maybe they are genuinely crying out for help, but are unable to put what they feel and need into words (a problem many self-injurers should understand..). Maybe they feel that no-one will take their mental pain seriously unless there is some more concrete form of it to show. Does this make them lesser people? I wouldn’t think so. Just lonely, confused, sad.

Of course, there are people out there who injure themselves for reasons nothing to do with their emotional or psychological state, but just to follow some dubious trend or feel special... these people probably don’t even fit the same category as other self-injurers – they’re probably more closely related to people who like getting piercings and tattoos, for instance. I hope for their sakes they reconsider and stop before they are stuck with obvious scars, become addicted or move on to using it as a way of dealing with life. I doubt those scars are so fun when you’re older and no-one cares about high school anymore, and all you want to do is be able to go to work each day without questions and strange looks. People like this tend to just make a mockery of those in real pain who truly need help... Although maybe there’s a case here for someone being willing to do that just to “fit in” being supremely lacking in self-respect, which is actually very sad.

I’ve also noticed certain people online who think if anyone mentions that they have self-injured then they are also “attention-seekers.” I’m sorry but considering a lot of that attention is from thoughtless and negative people like those, who’d bother? I’ve certainly never noticed self-injurers online getting more attention than other people. Sometimes, when there’s no-one in the offline world you know who does it, and you desperately want someone to talk to who understands, then coming online and confiding in weblogs or posting on message boards is the best many can hope for. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact it should be encouraged. Instead of becoming more and more isolated people can learn to communicate a bit more, and feel less alone. Many forums are even recovery-oriented, and people give each other support and encouragement in stopping the self-injury when they wish to.

Basically I'm going to make the effort to get to know people before I judge them. And hope anyone else would do the same.

Right now I'm working on starting an actual site ... thanks to everyone for their ideas. I want to get it up and running really soon, so I'll let you know when it is done. And as always, contributions and ideas are welcome

Join a new blogring: Stay Strong, Fight For Recovery, Always Hope

Thank you to Sapphyre_Skye: (This is long, but worth reading)

OPEN LETTER TO THOSE WITH BPD

If you have been diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD), there are a few things you need to remember.

Firstly, the traits and/or characteristics you have that have caused a mental health professional to diagnose you with BPD are also traits and characteristics found in the general population.  You are not 'weird' or 'a freak' or 'hopeless' or any of those other negative labels.  What having BPD means is that you are not coping as well with life as perhaps it would serve you to.

I maintain that BPD is primarily a relational disorder.  What you need to do is learn how to relate to yourself--to find your true self and give it more credence than your false self.  Borderlines are not crazy.  They react and often act very intensely to things for many different reasons.  This does not mean that you are unlovable.  But it is the degree to which you can learn to relate in the middle, or grey of life, between the black and the white, and the degree to which you can be responsible for yourself and learn to relate to others consistently that will decide whether or not you have healthy, functioning relationships.

Secondly, BPD is quite a catch-all label, sadly, with a negative stigma attached to it.  Do not be ashamed to be who you are or to have BPD.  Remember, having BPD is one thing, and being borderline is another.  BPD does not have to become the defining foundation of who you are, unless you let it.  Those who are diagnosed with BPD are usually in a lot of pain.  Often, this pain is denied and buried deep inside.  It may come out through impulsive sex, stealing, over-eating, 'acting out', rages, uncontrolled outbursts of anger, demanding, co-dependent helplessness that alternates with dominating and demanding intimidation of others, all in an effort to try and feel safe and to protect yourself.  Experts still argue about how much of BPD is biological versus environmental, etc.  The truth is, you still have to get on with your life now.  Sometimes meds can help.  But no amount of, or combination or meds is going to eliminate the need for you to work hard on yourself in therapy.

Thirdly, while those with BPD continue to get a bad reputation with professionals and people in their lives, the fact is that not all borderlines are the same.  Yes, many characteristics and issues can be the same, but each person to those and to BPD their own unique individuality.  You can choose who you want to be, and fit that with your authentic self and be consistent.  Having Borderline Personality Disorder is one of life's most profound challenges.  It does not have to be a life sentence.  I have recovered from it.  Other's have recovered and/or are recovering from it.  So can you, too.

Recovering from BPD is a process.  "Being borderline" isn't a crime.  It is time that more people pay attention more to the agonizing pain underneath the actions of those with BPD, and pay a little less attention to the way in which any given person with BPD chooses to try to survive, and thus illustrates the traits of BPD.  Be clear on one thing, if you continue to treat people poorly, manipulate them, or abuse them--they will leave you.  This is the primary way that borderlines continue to play out their own abandonment wounds through others.  You need to define yourself from the inside out and stop attempting to define yourself through others.  Others can't be you anymore than you can be them.  Learn to be the YOU that you have always been meant to be.  You are a world waiting to be born.  Working toward recovery requires that each person with BPD learns how to take personal responsibility for himself/herself.  You must learn to take care of yourself, learn to be alone, and know that you can validate yourself.  Healing really is a choice.  You must make that choice.  If you don't choose to get well, you won't get well.

Know that you are not alone. You are NOT alone.  Many people know your pain from the inside and the outside.  People do care.  Be careful not to ask too much from anyone, and remember even when you feel very young, the world expects you to move toward 'acting your age'.  Stop believing that you have to be what you FEEL.  You can be YOU, no matter how you feel.   

I want to say to you that you can make it.  You must choose to live long enough to make it.  Things can and will change.  Living on the other side of BPD--in the 'average' and so called 'sane' world does not mean that life does not present challenges, pain, and disappointment.  The difference between "being borderline" and NOT has all to do with choices and cognitions.  Be true to yourself and to your process.  Believe in yourself, your ability, and your worth.  Refuse to accept the stigma of BPD. It does not belong to you.  Having BPD does not make you less of anything.  You are still human.  You feel.  You need. You ache. You want.  Perhaps even more than the average, you feel, need, ache, and want--but that's okay.  Those with BPD are usually keenly aware of other people's feelings and are very compassionate (even if they are not able to express it).  And those with BPD are usually very intelligent. Let your smarts work for you.  You have a life script, like anyone else, and you really can change it mid-stream.  You can heal. You really can feel all of your pain, grieve your losses, and heal your original abandoment wound without it killing you.  You deserve to live--out live your pain and your angst to find peace.  You can and you will find peace.

When the night creeps in so hollow, and you feel like you are at the end of your rope, know that you can fill what is hollow and empty in the night and in yourself.  When you get to the end of your rope, take a deep breath, tie a knot in the end of the rope, and hold on just a little bit longer.  Pain comes to pass.  Panic comes to pass.  All things come to pass.  You are precious and you need give your gifts firstly to yourself, and secondly to the world.  If you continue to make the same choices, you will continue to get the same results.  Learn that a healthy amount of risk is needed to make the new choices that will give you new and different results that you need to break through the patterns that are keeping you stuck.

You are NOT alone.

Thank you all so much for your comments and ideas. I want to use every one of your suggestions. I'm sorry it has taken a while to get this site going. I would really like to make it a lot better than it has been

Thanks to MetallMaus for posting this ... and The__Burrow for suggesting it:

MYTHS	FACTS
People who have a mental illness are violent.	People receiving treatment for mental illness are more likely to be the victim of crime than the perpetrator. Most violent crimes, including murder are committed by people who are not mentally ill.
People with mental illness cannot make significant contributions in our culture.	Abraham Lincoln, Patty Duke, Beethoven, Ernest Hemingway and Tennessee Williams are just some of the many accomplished people who had a mental illness.
People who have a mental illness cannot get better.	People can recover from and manage mental illness. Many people with mental illnesses are in recovery and leading active lives.
Mental illness is the same as mental retardation.	Mental illness is not the same as mental retardation, which is a developmental condition that people are born with. Mental illness develops later in life. There is not a correlation between intelligence and mental illness.
People with mental illness need constant assistance.	Many people with mental illnesses live independently in their own houses or apartments, manage their own money, arrange their own social activities and hold jobs.
People with mental illness could get better if they really wanted to. They are just being overly sensitive and emotional.	Mental illness is an illness, just like heart disease and diabetes. You would not expect someone who just had a heart attack to get better without help from doctors, family and friends. Recovery from any illness is more successful when the person has the proper support.
Mental illness is most common among economically poor people.	Mental illness does not discriminate based on economic status, social standing, ethnicity or race. Anyone can develop a mental illness.
We don't know how to treat mental illness.	Although there is no cure for mental illness at this point in time, we do know how to treat it. Mental health treatments have come a long way in the past 30 years.

Would anyone want to help with or contribute to this site? I think it would be awesome to have more than 1 person's point of view (and to update more), and I'm sure everyone has something unique and valuable to contribute (no joke). Sharing your personal experience, encouragement, advice, articles, etc, etc ... sky's the limit. Let me know what, when, etc, and we can start getting the word out! Thanks to all those who have subscribed and commented lately. You are awesome